1. And then there were 2

    You know, I don’t need to write as much anymore. I never thought that would ever be the case, but things are different, now. I guess I just found the person I was writing to. 

  2. The Plot Of My Life

    And the walls she built around her heart came crashing down, and she fell just as hard. 

  3. The wrong side of the city

    I am starting to wish I had never taken this job in the city. It’s ruining my creative, wonderful, aesthetic side of me. I wish I could go back. I wish I could go back and find a job in a place that allows me to be free. That doesn’t require me to dress in a skirt and blouse every day and where I don’t have to wear shoes that pinch my toes. I wish I had a job where I could let my hair down. 

    I suppose it’s too late for that, now. 

  4. Someday, when I am awfully low…

    I wish my life were a sappy love story sometimes. I guess I just want to be wanted. 

  5. This whole college thing.

    I don’t think I’m doing this right. I need to regroup. 

    Tomorrow. 

  6. The loneliness of it all

    Yes. I’m in college now. That’s that. 

    I have no idea to be a college student. I don’t really know how to talk to people. If I could just write things down and then give everyone notes that would explain who I am and let that be the way I communicate with them, I would be fine. But no. People talk. And text. And whatever else they think is better than writing. I don’t know. I am not a good speaker. I doubt myself, even in what I should say next; it makes me stutter much more than I should. I write well. There’s no hiding behind the black and white words on a page. No matter how hard you try, it’s hardly possible to not reveal a small piece of information of yourself through the written word. 

    It’s lonely here in the city with no one to really talk to. My roommate is there, but other than her, I know absolutely no one here. So I sit here with no one to really pull along with me so that I’m never alone. I have my books, I suppose. They keep me company. But I’m beginning to learn that even my books are not enough to keep me from being swallowed in the loneliness of this. Life here isn’t exactly as I imagined it, I suppose. 

  7. College Eve (Part 2)

    The hours are counting down. Every moment I know is one moment less in this old house I grew up in. It’s strange to think this. Really, all I’m thinking about is how far away winter seems and how much I want to be fighting a chill with thermal sweaters and tights and scarves and a big fluffy blanket. Time has been moving at a strange tempo lately. Fast for a week, and then the next day goes by slowly. It’s wonderful, but horrible at the same time. I’m just anxious to get my life started again. It’s almost as if it’s been on hold all summer long, even though I’ve been busier than any other summer before. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the heat that’s getting to me. Maybe I’m just lonely. The loneliness is killing me. 

    I need to leave. 

  8. My life dream.

    I just want to write. 

    And I want someone to read it. 

  9. College Eve

    In roughly 15 hours I will be waking up for one of the last times in this house. It’s coming down to where I’m not sure when I’ll be coming home to stay here for a night or two. I suppose this is just one of the consequences of getting older. Along with taxes and jobs and the feeling of never having enough time. I guess it doesn’t matter how much I try; it’s unavoidable. I guess once we stop trying is when all these adult feelings become permanent. 

    I don’t know. I’m writing again. Hopefully I can actually finish this story. Maybe not. Most likely not, considering my track record. This could be the one that gets done, though. I really don’t know where I’m going with it, but I hate to be confined to one idea. It’s like driving behind a car going really slower than you. I need bit of space to feel comfortable. 

    Next post will be from a college girl. 

About me

“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life.”